The Swing of Things

I'm not sure why blogging is so difficult for me these days, but I can't stand that I haven't written anything for three weeks!  Three weeks!  They've been a busy three weeks, that's for sure: I turned 29, my dad had his birthday, Halloween, Election Day, and various other life events.  Me turning 29 is a whole post alone, so I will start with Halloween.

Spencer wanted to be a princess.  I did not want Spencer to be a princess.  I tried to show her other costumes, but she was insistent that she had to be a PRINCESS.  In my attempts to not stifle her and impose my will on her for frivolous things, I gave up my quest for her to be something else. 

On Sunday night we went over to Sara's house and met up with another family that we are friends with that has a daughter Spencer's age.  There were a few hiccups and minor meltdowns along the way, but they had a blast.  This was the first year that we've gone to stranger's houses.  I've always just driven her around to people that we knew.  So this was a new experience for the both of us.  Spencer was not in the most cooperative picture mood and I didn't get that many good pictures of her, which was a bummer.  But I got a few.

 

 

This last picture was at the end of the night and Spencer's friend wasn't ready for the festivities to be over, so Spencer tried to comfort her!  It was a seriously super cute moment.  You can't tell in these pictures, but Spencer's dress actually had little lights throughout it. She thought it was pretty fantastic.

I am going to do my best to get back into the swing of things around here!  I promise.

Do You Know What's in Your Backyard?

 

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Yesterday, Spencer found the mother of all caterpillars. I have never seen one that gigantic before- it was like The Very Hungry Caterpillar on steroids multiplied by 100.  We were outside and she was playing in the backyard when she squealed with delight that she'd found a caterpillar.  Before I could process that information, she picked it up and brought it over to me.  I was still baffled that she saw a caterpillar in the grass, recognized it for what it was, and quite clearly told me what she had found.  Her entire knowledge of them is solely from the aforementioned book, which doesn't exactly look like real live ones.

And then I see that she's holding this enormous looking thing that just couldn't be an actual caterpillar.  My inner insectaphobia, aka, entomophobia, was screaming for me to tell her to put it down, not to touch it, and never it up again. This is seriously what it looked like, only bigger!

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But she is such a little sponge and I don't want her to be afraid of of bugs, insects, spiders, and other things that creep.  I remembered reading this post on Dooce and I didn't want Spencer to soak in any of my irrational fears, etc.  So I kept my mouth shut.

Well, that lasted about 2.2 seconds because she tried to hand it to me and the voice in my head escaped through my mouth and said DO NOT PUT THAT ON ME!  I then calmly told her we needed to put it back in the grass so that we didn't hurt it.  (Good one, right?!)  And I tried to explain that you have to be very gentle with caterpillars because they are fragile and even if you don't mean to hurt them, it can still happen.  Shockingly, she put it back in the grass!  I bent down and got a closer look it.  I really thought that it might have been a toy shaped like a caterpillar, because it was that big.  It wasn't until I watched it start to move it's antennae and scoot away that I was finally convinced of it's authenticity. 

Spencer has always been a little mimic of me, but recently it's taken on a new life of it's own.  I have to watch every teeny tiny thing that I do and say because chances are that she will do and say the same thing.  And I want her to be her own person.  My parents never even told me who they were voting for until I was in high school because they wanted me to form my own opinions and not be swayed theirs.  I found that infuriating, but now I'm starting to get it.  It's hard to be a good influence without stifling them. Here is my question: where do you draw the line between being a positive role model and being domineering?

The Bullaise Ballet

Spencer is now taking ballet, which she calls bullaise, and tap dancing lessons and she LOVES it. I have to hide her tap shoes when we get home because she wants to tap dance around the house all the time. The class is only once a week, but I wish they had it more often, because Spencer wants to go there every single day. Last night she obliged me for a few minutes and let me take a few pictures of her in her leotard.

And then she got annoyed with me.

  Story. Of. My. Life.

  I guess that's what life with a strong willed three year old is like, ha!

Two Weeks Notice

"If a tree falls in a forest and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?"  I think that best describes how I feel about blogging and my real life; if I blog something, it becomes reality, but if I don't, then I can delude myself into a lovely state of denial.  So here it is: my Spencer started preschool.

I've tried to start this post a hundred times and then I'd get all weepy and quickly abandon it.  Writing it all down meant that I was officially the mother of a three year old in preschool and I wasn't quite prepared for such a thing.  But now that we are two weeks into it, I'm now ready to say, "Hi, my name is Katie and I'm the mother of a three year in preschool."

I really wasn't expecting to feel so emotional about this, but as the first day of school approached, I felt increasingly more sad.  I mean, two days a week for three hours a day isn't exactly a lengthy separation, so why was I freaking out? There were never any doubt in my mind that Spencer would go to preschool this year- in fact, I'd started researching programs well over a year ago. I couldn't be happier with the school she's going to; I love their approach to learning, the staff, that it's strictly a preschool and not part of daycare system, and the actual building itself.  But I still felt/feel kinda heartsick.

I never really understood homeschooling your children.  Getting out and going to school provides them  a well balanced and rounded education and it gives moms a few hours to themselves to get some things done, maybe take a well deserved nap.  It probably didn't hurt that I loved going to school and would try and fake not having a temperature if I was sick so I wouldn't miss a day. (Crazy kid!)  So, naturally, I thought I would love Spencer going to school just as much as I loved going; wrong. I firmly believe one of the best gifts a parent can give to their child is a love of learning and a great education.  But in the back of mind, I'm starting to understand why some families decide to literally take on that challenge themselves.  For me, I'm jealous; I'm jealous, green with envy, of Spencer's teacher.  I want to watch her learn things and I want to see that look of excitement she gets on her face when she's learned something new.I feel like I'm missing out on something.

Even so, I'm very aware my own limitations and I know going to this preschool is what's best for Spencer.  And she loves it!  Every morning when she wakes up, she asks me "is this my school day?" And when I say yes, she always tells me "that's my favorite day!"  To which I jokingly respond, "what am I, chopped liver?" And with her most serious voice and you're-crazy-mom look, she tells me "No silly goose, you're Mommy."  It's our little morning routine.

Spencer has adjusted marvelously.  Actually, there was no adjustment for her, I walked her in on the first day and she went right into her room, sat down, and waved goodbye; no tears, no nothing.  It was as if she'd been doing this her whole life. I, on the other hand, had to fight back my tears until I made it to the car.  And then I went Sara's house so she could comfort me, haha! 

Without further ado, here are some of the pictures I took of Spencer on the first day of school.

 

 

The Circle of the Drain of Life

This week(end) Spencer had Backyard Bible School.  In my day, we received stickers, Smarties, Dum-Dums, and candy bars (if we said the Theme Memory Verse), for doing things like bringing our Bible, bringing a friend, saying our memory verse, or doing certain art projects.  I can't begin to explain the excitement for me as a 5 year old at the prospect of getting a king sized Hersey's chocolate bar.  In some ways, not much changed- little toys, pieces of candy, and art projects, etc.  And then came the Carassius auratus auratus, aka the Goldfish.

The kids were learning about Jonah and the Whale when I saw a friend of mine, and fellow parent, walk through the door holding a large bag of water.  As she got closer, I thought there were little plastic fish in it.  And then I it all became clear what was inside:  real, live, swimming fish.  Slowly, realization poured over me- Spencer was going to bring home a goldfish. 

It was actually kinda funny, because all of us parents pretty much had the same reaction. We were going to bring home this fish, buy it supplies, while our kids fell in love with it, and then in 48 hours it would most likely make it's way to Goldfish Heaven.  My first inclination was just to keep Spencer away from them and she would never know the difference if we didn't bring one home with us.  And then I thought about how excited I would have been about bringing home a REAL LIVE FISH from Bible School: it made a king size Hershey bar seem like a Tootsie Roll.  So as much I was not looking forward to being responsible for "killing" a fish, I didn't want Spencer to miss out on it.  And so, the goldfish, who was black, came home with us in a little water filled baggie.

I would love to tell you that after spending $18 at the pet store on a bowl, special de-chlorination and de-chloramination water drops, flaky fish food and pink and gold rocks for the bottom, that we are still the proud owners of a fish. I would love to tell you that even though Spencer pointed and said "Mama, look at that man!" in regards to the very large, fully clothed in leather, bandanna wearing, tattooed all over motorcycle man in the fish food aisle, that we are still the proud owners of a fish.  I would love to tell you that even after the aforementioned comment and the motorcycle guy came up to us and recommended the best water drops and fish food, that we are still the proud owners of a fish. I would love to tell you that I didn't spend two hours setting up his/her future humble abode, making sure he/she had acclimated to the water before releasing it from the baggie, and watching as he/she ate the food- just to make sure it had eaten, that we are still the proud owner of a fish.  And I would really love to tell that after making sure he/she had made it through the night before leaving for church that I didn't come home from church two hours later and find said fish floating on top of the water: the poor thing didn't even make it 24 hours. 

Here lies the problem- do I use this as a "life lesson" on death or do I replace the fish without Spencer knowing?  I've managed to keep her away from the fish bowl all day, but eventually she's going to see it. I don't really have a problem with getting another fish and having her be none the wiser- I just don't want to keep buying fish only to have them die one day later.  Any recommendations about low maintenance, cheap-ish fish that have a longer life expectancy?  Would a goldfish be happier if he had a friend swimming with him?  Did I do something wrong that inadvertently killed this one?

Even though this was a bit of a fish debacle, Spencer had a really great time at Bible School and she hasn't stopped talking about it or the fish.  I also really love that my Sunday School teacher told the Backyard Bible stories and will now be her Sunday School teacher (yesterday was promotion Sunday and Spencer moved up an age group).  It does make me feel super old, though, haha!

 Okay, so fish ideas, please!