The Blood Suckers

You might have noticed that I'm not exactly what you'd call an in-the-outdoor-elements-nature-loving-gal.  If you hadn't, let me be clear- while I love to admire the beauty of the outdoors, I myself do not like to interact with it unless there's a camera in my hand.  But I have a little girl who loves to be outside and so I find myself interacting with nature on a daily basis.

photo © 2008 dr_relling | more info (via: Wylio)

In the last month, I've found four ticks on Spencer, three on me, and four and the dog! And now I can't shake the feeling that there's always a tick on me, which is kinda driving me crazy.  I do NOT like ticks and my initial gut reaction each time I've found one is to call my dad.  Then reality and sets in, I mean I am 29 years old, I pull up my big girl pants, and do what needs to be done. 

Luckily, the first time I found a tick on Spencer we were in the Middle of Nowhere, North Carolina and Spencer's Great-Gran taught me the best way to remove a tick that's currently engaged in sucking the lifeblood out of you.  I've since removed ten such ticks and her instructions have been so helpful. So if you'd are out in nature and find yourself with one of these little suckers attached to your body, here is what Spencer's Great-Gran says you should do.

The Best Way to Remove a Tick

1.  Don't just pull it out!
2.  Saturate a cotton ball with alcohol and hold it firmly over the tick for at least two minutes- longer if necessary.
3.  Remove the cotton ball and use tweezers (your fingers will work fine if you don't have tweezers) to gently pull the tick out.
4.  If it does not easily come off, saturate another cotton ball and hold it over the tick for another two minutes. Make sure you don't pull too hard- after the alcohol kills or knocks it out, the tick should be fairly easy to remove.
5.  Repeat steps three and four until the tick is off your skin. 
6.  Once the tick is in the tweezers, light a match and burn it.  There's good chance that if you flush it down the toilet and it's not 120% dead, it will work it's way back up the toilet and into your bathroom.  Once you've burned the tick, you can either flush it down the toilet or immerse it in a small sealable container of alcohol and then throw that away.  If you don't have matches readily available, sealing it in alcohol is just fine.
7.  Saturate another cotton ball with either alcohol or some other type of disinfectant and clean off the bite. Ticks carry a lot of diseases and you want to get the area as clean as possible as soon as possible.

I realize that some of you who find a tick on yourself or child will not have immediate access to alcohol, so if you don't, the best thing you can do is use tweezers and try and grab the tick as close to it's head and mouth as possible, and pull it off.  If you don't have tweezers, cover your hand with something like a baggie or paper towel, and then attempt removing it.  Ticks are nasty little creatures and you really don't want to touch them with your bare hands if you can at all help it.

Hopefully you'll never get a tick bite, but if you do, I hope these tips will help you! 

Stranger Danger

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Last week was my Mema's birthday and as per usual, Spencer, my mom, and I went to the cemetery to put flowers on her grave.  Because Spencer had ballet lessons that evening, we were meeting my mom there afterwards. En route to the cemetery, we're sitting at a stoplight when I glance up at the rear view mirror to see that Spencer is waving at someone and then she started saying "Hi, my name is Spencer."  I turn my head in that direction and see she is "conversing" with a middle aged Hispanic man in a construction van.  

I really hate stereotyping and it's something I find completely unacceptable in others, but in that moment, I thought the very worst about this middle aged construction worker man in his van.  Why was he trying to talk to my three year old daughter?  Why was he motioning for her to roll down the window?  Was he just being friendly to my overly gregarious daughter or was there something more sinister going on?  I plastered a smile on my face and through clenched teeth told Spencer not to talk to the man because he was a stranger. (This has to be the longest stoplight in the history of the world)  And that's when she said something that sent shivers down my spine:  "He's not a stranger, Mama, his face looks too happy to be a stranger!"

Maybe it was one too many episodes of Dateline, but when she told me that I about had a heart attack.  It was at this point the light changed and we drove off, only for this man to keeping driving beside us, all the while still waving to Spencer.  This went on for the next mile!  I'm pretty sure that's when my mom's uber-paranoiac voice entered my head and told me to keep driving straight, and not go towards my destination, until the van turned off the road we were on. (She's definitely seen one hundred Datelines too many)  So that's what I did and a few minutes later he turned.  Relief surged through my body.

I turned around and drove back towards the cemetery and I started replaying what had just happened.  A small part of me told myself that I had completely overreacted and another, larger, part was saying you can never be too careful.  I again tried to tell Spencer that we don't talk to strangers, only for her to keep telling me that "strangers aren't happy people and the man was such a happy person."

It can be difficult for a parent to admit they've made a serious parenting mistake.  I don't have any problem admitting that my parental skills are lacking in the eat-all-the food-on-your-plate, no running inside, sharp 8pm bedtime, and no jumping off the sofa departments.  It's easy to own up to those parental shortcomings because they're fairly insignificant in the big scheme of things.  No parent wants to think they've done, or not done, something that could result in real, actual harm to their child.  But in those few moments, I realized I had made one of those big huge mistakes and I needed to fix it, pronto.  I completely dropped the ball on teaching Spencer about Stranger Danger.

When I was a child, my mom was so totally, completely over the top about me and strangers.  On the extremely rare occasions that she'd let me out of her sight for more than a few seconds, she'd always make me repeat all of the Stranger Danger rules, plus a few of her own.  (and by child, I mean from ages 3-12!  Each year she'd add a few more.)  These were rules like don't trust someone who tells you they're a police officer if they don't have on a uniform, never tell a stranger your name or where you live, don't get in or go near a stranger's car, if someone grabs you and tells you not to say a word- start screaming "Help! Stranger!" as loudly as you can, never take candy, money or gifts from a stranger, and if a stranger asks for your help to find their lost dog, tell them no and then find the closest person you can trust. And I was always reminded that these were people who looked very nice, like they could be trusted.
 
We had code words for any potential situation that might require me to trust someone who was a stranger to me, ie., if a person I didn't know tried to pick me up from school because there was an emergency- that person had to know the right code word.  (This was in the day before schools had super strict rules about that.)  Before we would go out shopping, she'd always remind me that if we got separated, I should immediately find someone who worked at the store and if I couldn't find an employee, look for a mother with kids. 

Honestly, that's just the tip of the ice berg of my mom's safety rules.  From the ages of three to five, I was very scared of any person I didn't know and would tell anyone who tried to talk to me that I couldn't because they were a stranger- even those at my church.  After all, wasn't the danger in "nice" people?  I frequently had bad dreams about being taken away from my parents and I was always very nervous when one of them wasn't with me.  I guess the fact that I'm still here is some testament to her methodology, but at the time, it really bothered me.

Since I was never in a situation where I actually had to use any of the rules, aside from the two years of telling everyone they were a stranger, I don't know whether or not I would have in a situation that necessitated it.  I have a sneaking suspicion that I would done what she'd taught me if I felt threatened or afraid, but not if I hadn't.  After I started kindergarten, I realized that none of my friends had all of these rules and I started to think my mom was wrong.  She saw danger lurking on every corner, and as I got older, I saw the opposite.  I "yes Mom"ed everything she'd tell me, but I thought she was just being crazy over protective.

Somewhere along the line I decided that when the time came, I would do things differently when I had children.  All of those rules had just scared me and given me nightmares and I wasn't going to do that to my kid.  It's not that I haven't told Spencer about strangers, she knows she's not supposed to talk to them, I just haven't made it a real emphasis. Part of that is because I thought she was too young to really understand what it meant and part of it was that I didn't want her to be nervous and fearful the way I was, only to do a complete flop and become trusting of everyone.  I wanted to be able to teach her in a way that she'd always have a healthy respect for strangers. 

But this whole experience has taught me a lesson and it's that I can't be too careful where Spencer's safety is concerned.  I can't worry about her not being wary of strangers when she's seven because I made her too afraid of them when she was three.  Not that I now plan on making her overly fearful of strangers, but I can't let the possibility of that happening then, stop me from making sure she knows what to do to stay safe, now.  And one of the first lessons were doing is that a person can look happy, and have a happy face, but they are still a stranger.

I'd really love to know some of the different ways you all have taught your younger children about stranger safety.  Any ideas or suggestions for me?

A Terrifed Parent

Last night, before I went to sleep, I went over to Spencer to give her a kiss, when I saw that her face was covered in chocolate.  I turned on light to look at my sleeping beauty- why was she covered in chocolate?  Only it wasn't chocolate; it was blood, and it was everywhere.

I'd like to tell you that I was completely calm and didn't overreact, but that's exactly what I did.  I started ripping off all her clothes to see where it was coming from and shaking her to wake wake up.  In my state of complete panic, I didn't think about how my reaction to this was going to scare her, and of course, she woke up scared. As she started to cry, her nose started to bleed (again), which was how I realized what I was actually dealing with was a bloody nose and not lethal wound of some sort.

Now that it's morning I'm able to be calm about all of this, but last night, the bloody nose scared the life out of me.  She has never had a nose bleed and then all of a sudden she has a major one while she's sleeping- what is that?  The next hour was not the most pleasant, as I had to stop the bleeding and Spencer didn't want her nose touched.  Then there was the clean up...

This entire experience has taught me a few lessons, well, more than a few.  I've never had a bloody nose in my life and this was Spencer's first, so I had no idea what was I doing.  Realizing that my reaction completely terrified Spencer, I felt so bad that I made an already scary situation worse.  It took awhile for her to calm down and go back to sleep and by that time I was wide awake, so I decided to look online for some answers.  I wanted to know why this happened and what I should do if/when she has a bloody nose the next time. 

1.  Bloody noses at nighttime are generally happen during allergy season and when the air is very dry.  You can fix this by having a humidifier in the room and putting some Vaseline inside of the nose.  (I can't imagine a world in which Spencer lets me put Vaseline in her nose, so I'm not sure what to do about that.) 

2.  Contrary to popular norms, you should not have them tilt their head backwards and pinch the bridge of their nose.  You need to have your child lean forwards and pinch the base of their nose-this will stop any gushing prevent, blood from going down their throat, and it will clot much more quickly. 

3.  Don't panic!  The good thing to remember is that bloody noses are almost never cause for concern.  The main reasons kids have them is because they pick their noses.  Their nasal passages don't have the thickest of skin yet and the blood vessels are closer to the surface.  So when they pick their noses, they sometimes scratch the surface without realizing it and then something as benign as a sneeze will start the nose bleed. 

4.  Sporadic nose bleeds are normal in small children, but if this is happening frequently, go to the doctor.  You should also go to the doctor if you can't stop the bleeding after ten minutes. 

5.  Don't panic!  I know I'm writing this again, but it's very important.  Something like this is really scary for kid and if they see that their parent is scared, it will make it all the more frightening for them.  Trust me, I know.  As difficult as it may be to not freak out when you see your baby with a bloody nose, remember it's a fairly normal thing.
aining calm will

Spencer is 100% perfectly fine today.  She did ask me if her nose was going to bleed again, but that's all she's said about it.  I'm trying not to be a hovering helicopter, but it's that's hard for me- I'm naturally a worry wart who can't let things go.  But I'm trying!  And if this ever happens again, I feel better knowing what I should and shouldn't do.

The Pool - Making it Safe All Year Long

Spencer's paternal grandparents have a big beautiful pool in their backyard. It's a big beautiful pool that's caused me hours of worrying- I've seen all those 20/20 specials where babies and pets fall in and drown!

Most people think I worry too much, which I don't think is possible when it comes to safety of your child, so I did what I always so - a little research! According the US Safety Commission, 75% of all accidental pool submersion drownings, involved children between the ages of one and three. They reported that 65% of all these accidental drowning occurred in a pool owned by the child's family and 33% happened in a pool owned by relatives and friends. Folks, that means 98% of all drowning accidents happened in their own pool, their family's pool, or a friend's pool. I decided I had plenty of reason to worry!

I've found a few ways to make sure your pool area is as safe as possible. During the summer months, the majority of families leave their pool uncovered. This is a big no-no, as 2/3 of all those drownings I mentioned earlier, occurred during the summer, when the pool is not in use. Invest in strong pool cover, a mesh cover is a must for protecting your family and your pool. There are also covers that use solar energy to warm the water, in case you were thinking "how else will my pool ever warm up if it's always covered?" Not only are you preventing your family from a potential devastating loss, but you are all also avoid a possible legal battle and lawsuit.

I was surprised to read that a large number of these accidents occur during the off season months. A lot of pool owners use old or weak covers to protect their pool after they've closed it up for the season. Winter Pool Covers not only protect your kids, they also prevent pools from icing over- which opens up an entire new can can of worms. If your pool cover has a hole in it, don't tape it up! Get a new one or have a professional fix it.

In ground pool owners are not the only ones that need to worry about this, a large number of these accidents happen in above ground pools- especially during wintertime. Winterizing your above ground pool is 100% necessary if you want to keep it healthy and safe. Most people tend to worry about children falling in a pool and drowning, and forget about the possibility of an inquisitive four year old climbing on top of their pool- to a kid it probably looks like a big trampoline! Having a strong, stable cover is just as important on an above ground pool as it is for an in ground pool.

Benjamin Franklin once said, An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. If you are one of those lucky people with your own pool, please make sure you've taken every possible measure to ensure the safety of a child.

Protect and Defend

Recently, there have been several stories circling the blogosphere about the need to protect your blog and yourself. Read this post on Lilly's Life and you'll see why it's important. I've been doing a little research on the topic and I've found some really simple, and free, ways to protect and defend your blog.

Watermark your images. You can do this on Photoshop by adding a digimarc or you can do it on Picmarkr for free if you don't have Photoshop.

Digimarc in Photoshop - invisible

Little symbol in top left hand corner, done with Picmarkr

Watch for Plagiarism - You can do this by by using Copyscape, just type in your URL and it will let you know if there's any content out there that matches yours. You can also add a banner to your website that will "protect" in legal terms. Another site that does this is CopyrightSpot

Just Say No - Let your readers know that they don't have permission to use your content. Many people tend to assume that unless otherwise stated, online content is up for grabs. You can write your own little blurb, or put up a button, badge or header. Check out this site for some cute buttons!

It never hurts to take a few extra precautions and it can safe you time and peace of mind. In other news, I will be announcing the winner of the Giveaway tomorrow!