The Dreaded Photos

So, my ex's wedding photos are starting to pop up on my Facebook news feed. This was the part to which I was least looking forward. I hadn't actually clicked on any of the pictures, but I did look at the thumbnails; for me it was kinda like putting my feet in the cold water before diving in. And to my surprise, it didn't bother me at all; I didn't have that sick, punched in the gut kind of feeling.

Everything was a-okay until this morning when I accidentally clicked on and maximized one of the wedding photos. It wasn't even the picture that got me, it was the caption- "Mr. and Mrs. So and So." WHOOOSH- all the air went out of my lungs and it was hard to breathe. I didn't even know why it upset me until I realized that I spent 9 years practicing my "Mrs. Katherine So and So" signature. I know that sounds so middle school, but I was in middle school when we started dating and that was the "in" thing to do. Then it just became my doodle, me practicing which way I would write my name; would I be "White-So and So" or just "So and So?" Even after we broke up it took me awhile to break that doodling habit- it was just ingrained in my subconscious.

This whole post may seem to negate my claims of truly being happy for him and his new wife, but I promise that isn't true. I'm not the best at dealing with unhappy emotions and my usual M.O. is to bury my head in the sand and pretend that nothing's wrong. After enough time has passed, such that I can confront what's bothering me without turning into a basket case, then I try and deal with it. I know that's not the best coping method, but it usually works for me.


So while I really am happy for the ex, I just now realized how sad I am for the me that spent nine years with him. Not that I regret a second of it, but it makes me sad to remember the type of girl I was then; a sickeningly sweet romantic, lover of love, love conquers all, love is blind, kinda person. Someone who saved every last petal from every flower, movie stub, note, card, and church bulletin. I was 24 before I could bring myself to throw away the flowers, some dating back to 1995! I know that I am definitely not that type of person anymore, but for the 14 year old me that just KNEW she was going to be "Mrs. Katherine So and So," I'm sad.

It's funny how the brain works. Had I not seen that caption I probably would never have remembered my incessant need to write my future signature on any and every available space. It wasn't until I saw someone else with my name that I realized I have probably been doing more of the ignoring of my feelings than the actual dealing with them. I have to admit though, it's kind of a relief to be feeling this way. In the back of my mind I was just waiting for the other shoe to drop, waiting for the moment when it, the sadness, would hit me. So I'm glad that it's here and, surprisingly, it's not quite as bad as I had anticipated.  But just to be on the safe side, I think I need to go on a Facebook hiatus for the next few days!

Hair Cut Milestone, Complete

Today, Spencer got her first hair cut. I imagined this rite of passage would be akin to a long, slow, tortuous death- but I was SO wrong, she was an Angel!

Literally, it was as if a Heavenly being took temporary residence in her body, she was that good. We went to a lovely little place called Pigtails and Crew Cuts. She got to sit in a nifty little car and watch The Backyardigans on a large flat screen television. There was no screaming, kicking, or maiming, just smiles. This is the before picture.

You probably can't tell, but she is sitting in an Old Timey police car.

If only I had known she would be saint-like, I could have saved myself all that worrying about her getting maimed by the scissors. And no, I didn't even have to sign a waiver saying that I wouldn't sue them if said maiming occurred.

Her First Blow Out.

Due to time constraints, bill paying, ect., I didn't have time to take a picture of the final product in the store. I was also afraid that the Angel was about to depart if I didn't get us out of there. So here she is in the car on our way home.

It wasn't 30 more seconds before the Angel left and my Spencer came back. Honestly though, I couldn't have asked for a better first hair cut experience.

I will try to take some more pictures tomorrow that will give her new "Do" justice, because it is just too cute.

The First Hair Cut

Tomorrow Spencer is getting her first hair cut. (Insert flowing tears) I have tried to ignore the increasing rattiness of her hair, but I can't do it any longer.

So tomorrow we are going to a hair salon that only cuts kid's hair. My camera battery is charging and I am mentally preparing for a lady to bring SCISSORS near my baby's eyes! I mean, what if they poke her eye out? Do I have to sign a release saying I won't sue them if they accidentally harm her? Do they wash her hair or do I need to wash it before we go? I realize that these are all questions that I could have asked when I made the appointment, but I didn't want to seem crazy.

I will post some before and after shots tomorrow. Wish me luck and say a prayer, for me, and more importantly, the hair stylist!

DC For the Day

I am driving to DC, as in Washington, to see my old Suities. I'm just going for the day, since the baby doesn't do well apart from me for long lengths of time, but I am SO excited. I haven't seen them in such a long time and I can't wait. Here's a trip down memory lane.

The Best Christmas Movies

I love this time of year, and Christmas movies always help me feel more festive. I'm a sucker for all the made for tv movies about Christmas, especially those that end with the realization that Santa Claus is in fact real. But those aren't "real" movies, or least movies that I can watch over and over again, due to the less than stellar acting. So what are your favorite Christmas movies that actually came out in a theater? Mine are:

1. Christmas Vacation

2. Home Alone

3. Scrooged

4. Love Actually

5. Die Hard - honestly

I know that A Christmas Story is not on the list, and no it's not an accident. I HATE that movie!