"I said NO...okay?"
That's what Spencer said to me tonight! I about died.
I can't even count how many times I've said "I said NO!" And now she's saying it to me. I feel so many different things about this, but mostly just guilt. I'm always telling her "no" much more than I tell her "yes." Something I'm doing needs to change, but the what and how of it all leaves me full of questions. Any advice?
8 comments:
just keep saying NO--and meaning it. Kids want to know what the boundaries are. You'll have it a whole lot easier when she's a teen if she learns early that there are rules and things don't always go her way.
I've survived my own two's teen years and now my grandson's so I've seen what works--and what doesn't.
You can still tel her no, but if you want to expand on that... tell her why she cannot do that at the very same time. Like - No, do not do that, it will burn you, make a mess, etc.
Logic actually started working for my kids at this point.
I still say No a lot, but not to the same things over and over and over. ;)
I realized when Cooper was just 2 that I was saying "no" way more than anything else and it bothered me. My goal was to change it.
I made it my daily goal to go an hour without saying no--it was hard but it's possible. Ex: He would reach up for my cup of water and instead of saying no I would say, "oh Coop, are you thirsty, would you like some water?"
Try it--it'll be a huge challenge but it'll start to change the way you speak to Spencer. Good luck.
If it is the actual word that bothers you, you can say no by saying "lets not do that right now" or things like that but if you think you are just being to negative well that is a hard one, you have to stand your ground & have disipline.
Let your No's be No and Yes' by Yes. That is what the bible says...so, When you have to say no, say it. But when you have the opportunity to say yes or praise her then do that too. Look for every opportunity you can. :)
I hear ya, I get so frustratated having to say 'no' so many times, and for the same thing!
I try to pick my battles, if it's not something that's dangerous or going to wreck something, I try to let Farty explore it. But it is exasperating.
I remember my FIL saying to me, "there sure is a lot of No going on around here." It made me feel so bad. Recently, my hubs and I have taken a class called Parenting with Love & Logic. I highly recommend the book.
I don't know, but don't feel bad. Sweet funny thing that she is, I'm sure you are giving her plenty of positive reinforcement too!
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