Sweet Talk

I don't like it.  Sweet talk annoys me to no end, mostly because of it's fake fakiness.  Which, unfortunately, I've had an unfortunate history of falling for many times before.  I've never been very good at doing myself, and I've certainly never called anyone I don't know "Honey" or "Sweetie."  In fact, when someone who doesn't know me calls me one of those names, my internal bull honkey antennae goes up.

So imagine my surprise when I discovered my two year old daughter has become the master of deceptive sweet talk.  It snuck up on me, and for awhile I was in denial; I tried to trick myself into believing that all of her "I love yous," "Don't crwys," and unsolicited kisses were just obvious signs of her love and appreciation.  But I've had to face the facts.

My very intuitive daughter tells me she loves me right before she's about to do something naughty.  If I get angry with her, she comes and gives me a kiss, says "Your wekome.  All better?"  She looks at me with such earnest eyes as she strokes my face, nods her head and she's all "It's k! k? ok."  Like she's telling me to back off, what she want's to do is perfectly acceptable, and I just need to chill out and let her do her thing.

In the beginning it was kinda cute, and I probably perpetuated it by being smitten with her ingenious way of manipulating me.  But now, I'm over it. Today when we are on the road, I hear her say "I love you" and as soon as the you was out of her mouth, I heard an unmistakable click.  The click of her unbuckling her car seat!  I start yelling, trying to find a place to pull over and put her back in, and she's all "It's okay, Mommy, I love you!  K? K? ok!"  My jaw was clenched, one hand on the steering wheel, the other trying to keep her in her car seat, and trying to keep any expletives from coming out of my mouth.  This wasn't the first time she's tried to get out of her car seat while I was driving, but it was the first time she's managed to unbuckle it, and I was on a highway!

We were on her way home, she needed her nap, even though she kept telling me otherwise.  So I put her down for her nap, we hug, say our I love yous and it's light out.  Only it's not. I hear another I love you, followed by a thud- indicating she had climbed out of her bed. I finally got her to sleep, but it wasn't easy.  And I've been in a bad mood since then.  Does anyone else deal with this kinda thing?