Back in the Day

This would be me, circa 1996- please note the outdated scrunchie (outdated even for 1996) in my hair. I'm about 60% sure this picture was taken during cheerleading/gymnastics camp in Charlotte, NC. There's a 40% in could have been at the University of North Carolina. Either way, it was 1996 in North Carolina.

I used to cheer for Hilda McDaniel, the founder of All-Star Cheering; that means we only competed, we didn't "root" for anyone but ourselves.. To say the pressure was intense would be a huge understatement! I really loved it for awhile, and I was good at it. I won the All-American Cheerleading award in 1997, which is the most prestigious award in cheerleading (weird, I know). I had to try out for All-American status, in front of gazillions of people, being judged on technique, jumps, tumbling, spirit and overall crowd appeal.

I was only 15 then, but I'd already started to grow tired of it. I can't adequately describe the pressure and give it justice, because it seems so silly now. Even now, years after my cheerleading "career" ended, I have frequent dreams where I'm in the middle of a competition and I can't do a back-flip anymore. There are different variations on this dream- I can't do a twist, layout, handspring, or I forgot the routine.

I eventually decided that I had to stop cheering for either my high school squad or my All-Star squad. I ended up choosing to stay with high school because I felt there was nothing left I wanted/needed to accomplish in the AS world. And I didn't love it anymore, and you really need to love something if you're going to sink 10-15 hours a week in it (that didn't even count on my high school practices and games, or gymnastic classes/practices). I also really wanted to do show choir and there was no way I could do all of them. (Did anyone watch GLEE last night?)


Most people who know me in real life ALWAYS ask me if Spencer is going to be a cheerleader. My immediate, gut response is always an emphatic "No!" But I don't really mean that, Spencer can do whatever she wants. It's just me, being selfish, not wanting to be immersed in those thoughts and feelings again.

The next question people ask me is why I didn't cheer in college. There are two reasons: the first being I severely dislocated my shoulder and tore my rotator cuff at a pep rally my junior year. That ended any possibility of cheering for a big school. I never planned on that, I always wanted to go to W&;M, but you never know. There were a lot of times when I wondered if I should go to a big school and cheer- what else had I been working towards all these years? For most cheerleaders, that's the ultimate dream, and there I was turning my nose up at it. So when I hurt my shoulder, I really felt that it was a sign from the cosmos. The second reason, and not to put down W&M in any way- because I LOVE that school, but my middle school squad was better than theirs. (And no offense to the cheering squad there, either!  There were definitely some great cheerleaders, they were just not in the majority)

That is the story of my cheer history! I used to omit my cheer history whenever I met someone new, mostly because people always assumed it meant I was a dumb, snobby slut. But that makes me mad at myself, I should be proud that there was a time in my life when I was really really good at something! (even if it was cheerleading!) Now this isn't a video of us, I only have VHS tapes so I can't upload it, but just so you have an idea of the level of competition, here is a video of Hilda's current team, Cheer Factory.

Mambo Italiano

Every time Spencer hears the opening lyrics for this Olive Garden commercial, she starts grooving like she thinks she's on So You Think You Can Dance. Whenever she's getting fussy or upset, I find the commercial on my DVR and play it- works like a charm!

Sorry the video quality isn't the best, I took it with my new Blackberry, because I'm just to happy that I have one.

Seth Meyers, Michael Phelps, and Really!?!

I'm pretty sure that no matter what side of the Michael Phelps bong photo, you're on, you'll think this is REALLY funny! And short, so watch it!

Maybe I Should Work for a Wildlife Refuge

I dare you to watch this video and not get misty eyed. Spoiler Alert, no one dies, it's a happy video!

Patrick Swayze, Barbara Walters, Weeping Katie

I don't know if anyone watched Patrick Swayze's interview with Barbara Walters, but I did, and it's gotten to me. I think I cried through about 70% of it, especially when they got to talking about his relationship with his wife.

They've been married for 33 years and you can still see the love they have for each other. I think it's amazing for any couple to stay married that long, but I think it's so much more beautiful when that couple's love is apparent to everyone who sees them. I've only ever seen it a handful of times, but they've stayed with me, they've become what I aspire to have one day.


I think a lot of people in my situation, the ones who marry the father and the ones who don't, get married to the wrong person just because it will make things easier. It's hard to be a single mother, it's hard to see families together and it's hard to not be jealous of them. But I have to be an example to Spencer and any relationship I have will effect her; I'm not getting married to anyone unless I see us as an "always." I'm not going to settle for anything less than a love like that because that's not the example, the lesson, I want for Spencer to follow.

When I watched Patrick and his wife together, as they face the knowledge that their time with each other will be cut short, it amazed me how grateful they were. Yes, they were sad and angry and all those feelings that go along with a terminal prognosis, but their commitment and love were already rock solid before that. They didn't look back and see years of their relationship they wished they could change, and they were thankful for that.

It was so moving and I was a crying a mess. On the other hand, it made me think about all of this and really gave me the perspective I've been needing recently. Sometimes I get all "woe is me" but I have so much for which I'm grateful. I never want to look back on these years and have regrets about not appreciating them, or wishing they were easier, or wishing I could go back and redo it all differently. If you haven't watched it, I'm putting a clip at the bottom, but it should be up on abc.com pretty soon.

Oh, and have a few tissues on hand, I double dare you not to cry!

Kathy Griffin in Richmond

I saw Kathy Griffin last week and she was amazing! I went with my friend Jase, his boyfriend, and some of his friends, and we had a great time. She was hilarious! We were sitting in the 3rd row, which is the closest I have ever sat to anything. My only complaint was that I didn't think she was offensive enough. I took a couple of videos with my camera, bootleg style, so here they are.