A Trip to Target

The MEGA-Store

I used to go to Target once a week when I was in college. I would aimlessly wander around, convincing myself that I needed another strand of party lights, or I needed the purple sunglasses to match my new, needed, purple headband. Every time I went, I found new treasures that I just had to have- martini glasses with z-stems and post-it notes with K's on them- they whispered my name.

Luckily, I had really amazing friends who were 50% successful at talking me out of buying a lot of useless junk. These days, I have Spencer- who has a 98% success rate!

Yesterday we went to the brand new Super Target, and boy oh boy was I excited. I packed a little bag of goodies for Spencer, in the hopes that it would occupy and mollify her. We walked in and I breathed in that welcoming, "come spend lots of money" new-store-smell.

We always start off at the $1 bins, as there are always cheap kids books and other doo-dads that Spencer enjoys. But not yesterday. Yesterday was not made for me to enjoy Target.

Just as I had started looking at the 50% off toddler rack Spencer decided she did not want to be locked up in a cart. To prove that point she flailed her arms and body, knocking over at least 50 items of clothes onto the floor.

It was like an out of body experience- I was watching myself from above as my child was screaming to get out while I tried to refold all the clothes she had dumped on the floor. I quickly got us out of the clothes department, as there was obviously no safe place for her- safe for the store that is.

Maybe she'll be happy if I take her to the toys- she loves toys- I thought, trying to delude myself. Wheeling her around in the cart, singing her favorite diddy's, we go to the doll aisle. There we had five minutes of peace, as Spencer fell in love with the mini dolls- one Caucasian and one African-American, she held them both to her chest and gave them kisses. Although she was not completely happy until she got me to kiss both of them!

Out of all the dolls there, her favorites were the ones that were $2.50- yea for Spencer thriftiness! Once she seemed interested in her dolls, we left toys so that I could peruse all the wonders the new Target had to offer. I didn't know the layout of the store and I accidentally walked by the Easter display.

When she saw all of the pastel colored candy and the lady handing out chocolate "grand opening" treats, she became fixated on getting some, and when Spence wants something to eat, she says "Mmmmm!" I tried to ignore it, after all, she had a granola bar in her hand, and I quickly tried to get us away from the seducing chocolates and pink peeps. But the "Mmmmmmmm, Mama, Mmmmmm" got louder and louder and until finally I took her hands in mine, looked her in the eyes and firmly said "No! We are not having any Mmmm."

You'd have thought I told her the world was ending, as the crocodile tears began spilling out of her eyes and her wail could be heard throughout the gargantuan store. Ugh, I was one on of those parents- the very kind I had looked my nose down on before becoming a mom. The one who can't control their child and ineffectually handles public tantrums and outbursts.

I raced to pick up the one item I actually needed to buy, no really I needed it, got in the check out line and waited for my the cashier to ring up my items. Grand Total: $9.88.

$9.88

I am very certain that I have never before walked into Target and spent less than $10. Disregarding her completely inappropriate behavior, she actually kept me on a respectable budget budget. When you can't browse, you can't buy!

When we got home, Spencer got a nice time out- complete with no TV, dolls, or Mmmm. I explained to her in adult language what she did wrong and then I attempted to translate that into "Toddlerese." (It's a real thing, Internet) I'm not sure if she really understood either version, but hopefully some of it got through.

Any tips on controlling toddlers in a store, or anywhere for that matter, without looking like the worst parent in the world? I'm open to all suggestions (except spanking)!

So that was our trip to Target. I don't think Spencer and I will be making anymore tandem trips for awhile!


*Yes, I did get her the dolls, but I didn't give them to her yesterday- I'm not that much of a pushover!